Wednesday, September 9, 2009
I'm Andy Allen, I'm 17. My baby sister means the world to me. I love her more than anything. Point is, you mess with her and you're messing with me.No joke. Her name is Leah.Leah Allen. She's only 4 years old and we just found out she has Leukemia.Man, it's killing me. If you knew her though, you would understand me. Seriously. I mean, she's so pretty, she really is. She has beautiful locks of black hair. Its long too, and silky. She a has the cutest little dimples on her cheeks when she smiles. Her smile is the kind of smile that makes you feel all nice inside when you look at it, I mean everybody doesn't look good smiling. For instance this girl in my Biology class, you'd think she's a goddamn Godess when you look at her.She's really beautiful with strong-facial features like some type super model and all, but when she smiles she looks really awful. Seriously.Anyway, My little Leah doesn't have that issue though, like I said before. Not only is she pretty as hell, but she's also innocent as hell too. Leah's not like most kids in this generation, you'd think they're all innocent and all but if you really knew them you'd know they know quite a bit about sex and all that crap. I mean, one time last summer when my family and I went to some resort in Hawaii for vacation Little Leah walked in on my parents one morning while they were ramming and all. I'll tell you what she did, she just went right on in and sat on the bed with them in asked "Daddy are we going to the beach today, again?". She had no idea what the hell they where doing and why they were naked and all that stuff, because she didn't even notice she really didn't. She has no idea what sex is or what it looks like, I doubt she would even recognize the word. Anyway This is how the story goes. About 4 months ago Dad took Leah to the Doctor because she had been sick, fever and all. But no one at home was really worried, we thought she just had a normal fever, I mean kids always get fevers and all. But then the doctor informed Dad that she has Leukemia. Dad immediately started yelling at poor old Dr.Costco saying he was wrong and all that crap.I know that damn Docter must have been terrified cause man, my dad is a hell of a brolic guy. While he was yelling at the Docter and all dad was crying. I wish I was there, I've never seen dad cry before. According to what I heard he punched a hole through the wall and all. I'm surprised he didn't beat the living shit out of old Dr.Costco. If you're wondering how i know, well I'm good friends with one of the janitors at the clinic. My parents would never inform me of dads beastly actions.
I on the other hand, handled my pain and anger in a different way. That same day at about 12:00 a.m. when Leah was asleep and the house was all quiet my parents informed me, actually mom did all the talking.Dad had to walk out in the middle of the conversation and all, he couldn't take it. At first I was little confused about what Leukemia actually was, then mom mentioned it was something like cancer. It looked like she was really dreading the moment to tell me this, I could see it in her eyes, she was sad too.Sad as hell, devastated actually. At that moment I noticed she looked so tired and worn out, it was probably because she had been cleaning the house that night.She always cleans at night when Leah is asleep. Anyway when I heard the words cancer I basically shut down I didn't say a word more. All I knew is that people get cancer and die, thats all. I didn't want my baby sister to die.
After that day for weeks the house was quiet, mom was always nervous as hell, she barely slept and I would wake up in in the middle of the night and find her crying on the kitchen table with a cup of tea. Dad was basically trying to hide his pain, pretending everything was okay, even though everyday his baby girl looked sicker than the day before. Dad was also being extra nice to Leah. Every night he would bring her loads candy, he would take her to Toys 'R Us on Fridays and buy her everything she asked for, He would take her out for ice-cream or fast food every other night. A lot of times dad had to come home carrying Leah inside because she would fall asleep on him, or she simply had no energy, poor kid was always so tired and sick.One day Dad missed work at Modeling Agency and stayed with her all day because she asked him too. I guess he felt that he didn't have a lot of time with her so he was trying to make her last days happy ones. It was all very depressing to me though, mom and him acting that way.
Meanwhile, I was flunking all my goddamn classes. I' the last guy who can afford to flunk all his classes because I happen to go to a Catholic school and Dad would beast if I was to be kicked out. Usually, I do pretty good in school and all. I mean I'm not a complete bookworm, but I guess I do okay. But with all the worries I had about Leah I just could careless If I was passing or not. I mean, I showed up to every single class every single day, but I just didn't seem to concentrate. I would sit in class and my mind would just wander off, and it was like I wasn't even there. I would think about my poor little Leah, then suddenly I wouldn't try to do my Do Now because my baby sister was probably going to die so it didn't matter if I did the Do Now, or if I wrote down the homework, shit it didn't matter if I fucking shoot myself. A few times I would burst into tears in class and I had to put my head down or something so no one would see, I didn't want to attract any attention to myself. It wasn't because I didn't want to ruin my "handsome, layed-back, rich kid, Andy" view of me from my peers, because at that point I didn't care what they thought of me because my baby sister was going bald, so it didn't matter.
For those few horrible weeks, mom was taking about two weekly trips to the docter with Leah. Once she had to go to a clinic out of state and she had to stay there with Leah for about a week. So what happened was that me and Dad stayed home alone for that 1 depressing-ass week. You see, dad was always working, and when he wasn't he would be home he'd go out to god knows where. I guess he could take being in the house, it was really very depressing, I mean it. Anyway, he'd only come to sleep and use the bathroom, not even to eat or anything. Therefore I was always home alone depressed. I had no friends at that point point because I started acting all weird all the time and when they ask why, I wouldn't tell them what going with Leah and all. I mean, I didn't want anyone feeling bad for me or anything, so i kept it to myself. So everyday I had pizza for breakfast lunch and dinner, it was pathetic. I longed to have a real home-cooked dinner from mom. I prayed a whole lot that week, prayed for my little Leah, and prayed for everything to go back to normal. And it did, sort of.
When mom finally came back with Leah, I could see hope in her eyes. She looked the closest to happy I had seen for about two months. I was so relieved when I opened the door and saw her face, I knew that there had to be good news. And there was. They had put Leah on some type of treatment. It was suppose to control her leukemia and she would be just fine for 10 years, after that she would have another treatment and so on. We were all hoping and praying it worked. Mom said she Leah's hair would start to grow back and soon she would look as healthy as she did before. I was suddenly so happy.
That night I walked into Leah's room while she was sound asleep.She looked so peiceful, asleep. She reminded me of an angel. I guess she felt me in the room because she opened her eyes, looked at me and gave me that beautiful smile that I loved. "Andy!" she said, trying to whisper. I shhed at her and laid down next to her in her tiny little bed. I tapped her behind softly so she would fall asleep like mom did when she was a baby. "I missed you at the clinic a lot, Andy" she whispered. "I missed you too" I whispered back. At that moment I felt that everything would be okay, whatever happened, my little Leah would be fine, I felt it. We both fell sound asleep.